Monday, December 27, 2010

Top 10 Political Sex Scandals

Politicians are honest, truthful and the heart of this beautiful nation, right? WRONG!  Their politics may be correct at times but often their morals are extremely flawed. A handful of these influential politicians have been accused of heinous sexual acts while in the oval office and elsewhere. Some of these “role models” have denied these acts and have covered up their dirty work locking it behind closed doors for eternity. However, whether there are politicians having sex with their lobbyists or secretary of state…these acts do not represent the stars and stripes 3 year-olds in kindergarten pledge allegiance to each and every day. So enjoy folks…The Top 10 Political Scandals.

10. I Love Irony

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“Melvin” is a former member of the Democratic House of Representatives.  His successful career came to a rearing halt due to a sex scandal in August, 1994. He was accused and convicted of indulging in sexual relations with a 16-year-old campaign volunteer. Reynold’s denied the claims and stated they were racist claims aimed to destroy his political career. However, in 1995, ole’ Mel was convicted of obstruction of justice and child pornography. These charges forced Mel Reynolds to resign October, 1995. Reynolds did his time in prison for 12 accounts of sexual assault and was acquitted on separate charges involving bank fraud. Reynolds was released from prison and sent to a half way house for the second wave of charges due to a presidential pardon issued by our No.1 Political Sex Candidate Bill Clinton. HOW IRONIC!

9. You Want A Raise?

John Young was a Texan serving in the United States House of Representatives for more than twenty years. Young was an outstanding individual until his eleventh term came along. Watch out! The Viagra Epidemic! Anyway, Young became involved with Colleen Gardner who was a member of his staff. She accused Young of giving her pay raises only after she performed sexual acts on him in return. Young had a family of five and a sweet wife named Jane who eventually committed suicide; shooting herself in the head. John Young’s political career plummeted and he died in January,2002.

8. Sex Pays the Bills

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John Ensign, junior Republican United States Senator, admitted June 16th,2009 to having an affair with Cynthia Hampton. Hampton was a member of Ensign’s campaign and was involved in an extramarital affair with Ensign throughout 2007 and 2008.  Ensign’s wife forgave him for his sexual interactions with Hampton and stated they had come to a “reconciliation”. However, Doug Hampton sent a letter to a Fox News reporter explaining the devastating affects the affair had caused their careers and life at home.  Doug Hampton demanded large amounts of money to cover the debt their family was buried in due to the affair that was “COMPLETELY” Ensigns fault. It takes two! Right? Furthermore, Ensigns parents gave the Hampton’s $96,000 to cover their debts as a “gift”.  They’re probably living in the Hampton’s now… John Ensign decided to give up his title as Chairman of the Republican Council Committee.

7. You Booze, You Lose!

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Robert Bauman, former member of the U.S. House of Representatives, was accused in 1980 of trying to arrange sexual intercourse with a 16- year- old male prostitute. However, Bauman neither denied or admitted to the charges and claimed he was suffering from alcoholism and immediately checked himself into rehab.  On November 5th, 1980 Bauman lost in the re-election to Roy Dyson primarily due to the allegations filed against him during the political race.

6. Ride Sally Ride!

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Okay, Let’s kick it old school for a minute! One of the founding fathers of this beautiful nation allegedly had relations with his wife’s half sister, Sally Hemings. Hemings was an African-American slave owned by Jefferson. Although these allegations have never been proven 100% fact, there is legitimate evidence that reveals good ole’ T.J. had a sexual relationship with Hemings after Martha Jefferson’s death. France had abolished slavery in 1789 and Hemings had the choice of living the rest of her life in freedom or returning to Monticello as a slave. However, she reached an agreement with Jefferson stating she’d return as long as he promised to free her children from slavery. T.J. agreed and Sally lived out the rest of her life in Charlottesville,VA.  Sexual relations were common with slaves back in the day and good ole’ Jefferson’s DNA is still lurking around. “Always take a hold of things by the smooth handle.” –Thomas Jefferson.

5. IDAHO OR UDAHO?

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On June 11th, 2007, Larry Craig, was arrested at St. Paul International Airport for “lewd conduct” in the men’s restroom. Suspicions arose about the former Republican Congressman of Idaho before the arrest leading to the investigation in which he was ultimately convicted. A police officer entered the bathroom as Craig followed and sat down in the stall next to him. The officer minded his own business as every day bathroom goers usually do. Suddenly, he felt discomfort as Craig tapped his foot in a flirtatious manner. Not everyone likes FOOTSY! To make matter worse, Craig then reached his hand under the stall with his palm up as if he was asking the office if he could spare some extra change or well…Gross! The officer responded to Craig’s actions by showing the former Republican Senator his badge. In this case the officer probably wanted Craig to put his hands DOWN.  In September 1st,2006, Larry Craig announced his resignation but continued to fight the charges filed against him.

4. Time for Foley to Turn the Page

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Now we’ve all heard of  “sexting” in today’s twisted world and now politicians have jumped on the bandwagon! Former Republican Congressman of Florida, Mark Foley, was accused in September, 2006 of sending sexual instant messages to teenaged boys who had recently served as congressional pages. Although the investigation came to a halt soon after the accusations, Mr. Foley resigned September 29, 2006 due to the negativity his scandal was casting over himself and the rest of the Republican Party. Also, in October, 2006 anonymous statements were made by former congressional pages stating that they had in fact had sexual relationships with Foley.
“FoleyHottie999: hey my sexy little page…I have a message for you to take over to the library of congress.
“Page4you: ohhh Mr. Foley…but I’ve already delivered 3 messages already today.
“FoleyHottie999: that’s an order!
“Page4you: he he he coming ASAP!

3. Sanford Does the Argentina Tango

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Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina admitted to having an affair with a “friend” from Argentina. Governor Sanford claimed the affair started as a mere friendship with just a few e-mails here and there. He apologized relentlessly to his wife Jenny and family and stated, “I have spent the last five days in Argentina crying”. You poor thing Governor Sanford…those Argentina girls with their cinnamon tans will get ya’ every time! Governor Sanford was a possible candidate as a presidential candidate for 2012 but his chances have dwindled due to this bizarre incident. I wonder if the mistress name was Evita…”don’t cry me for me Argentina”.

2.  May Flower’s Make March Sour

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New York Governor Eliot Spitzer was accused March 10, 2008 of being involved in many prostitution scandals. Spitzer’s first experience was at the ever so classy Mayflower Hotel with a prostitute named Kristen whom he allegedly paid a few thousand dollars for a crazy night of fun. However, Spitzer decided to make the Mayflower Hotel his casual get-a-way and booked his hotel rooms under the name “George Fox” who was a buddy of his who was a hedge fund investor…slick Eh? Furthermore, many government investigators were on to Spitzer’s fun and recorded key evidence to convict him using wiretaps. In order to avoid impeachment Spitzer willingly resigned before the issue heightened. Supposedly Spitzer wore calf length socks when performing these sexual acts with pricey call girls. His resignation was official March 17th, 2008.“Spitzer you’re in hot water! Don’t get your socks wet!”

1. Oh Billy Boy!

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A 22 year-old white house intern…really Bill? Bill Clinton, former President of the United States, was accused in 1998 of having sexual relations with white house intern Monica Lewinsky.  Lewinsky attended Lewis & Clark College and was apparently a sexy college grad ready to put her college education/sorority girl experience to the test. The President of the United States and his intern lady friend kicked it off as if they were at a frat party and kept their secret concealed until Lewinsky’s friend, Linda Tripp, began recording the two’s phone conversations.  The tapes were soon delivered to Kenneth Starr who exploited Clinton and Lewinsky’s sex scandal to the world. The U.S. House of Representatives impeached Bill Clinton December, 19th, 1998 due to obstruction of justice and perjury charges. The nations reaction to the affair was overwhelming and amusing ranking this Political “affair” at No. 1. “There were a lot of times when we were alone, but I never really thought we were” –Bill Clinton

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